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After emailing with a bunch of losers online, she meets a guy whose profile knocks her socks off.

She gets all excited about him, and the first date does not disappoint.

Just because you had a great date, just because you had electric chemistry, just because you were at his place until 3am does NOT mean he wants you as his girlfriend and does NOT mean you are long-term compatible. You do not commit to someone who has given no indication he’s committing to you.

It just means you have a serious crush with potential. That guy still needs to follow up regularly in order to prove himself worthy. Now if he’s been calling you every night, and seeing you 3 times a week for the past few weeks, then yes, you can take down your profile and focus your energies on exploring this burgeoning relationship.

If he’s still a good guy who calls consistently, sees you consistently, and seems to want to be monogamous, then you should feel secure in giving him a shot, as opposed to doing what most of us do: hopping into bed first, “committing”, and realizing that we’ve made a terrible choice due to chemistry.

Just wait to see if he’s acting like a boyfriend FIRST; don’t treat him like one until he’s earned it. Practice sexclusivity (particularly if you can’t handle no-strings-attached sex) I’ve written about this extensively, so I won’t rehash the entire argument.

But, in short, if you are the type of woman who does not like the feeling of sleeping with a man when you have no idea whether he’s your boyfriend, STOP sleeping with men who are not your boyfriend.

And, if I don’t talk with him immediately, when is the right time to talk about being exclusive (if he doesn’t bring it up)? I’m going to give you a cheat sheet to tell you the most effective way to get into a relationship with a new guy.

Before I do, I’d like to pre-empt all of the people who are inclined to tell me I’m wrong because they did it another way: yes, there are 100 ways to do things.

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